These past couple of weeks have been a very trying time for me as a mother. I've been wondering if the kids are learning anything we are trying to teach them. They seem to have lost all of their manners, obedience, desire to listen to us at all and they've picked up these attitudes!
Azia screams and cries about everything...and I MEAN EVERYTHING! Parker has started to really push Cardiff's buttons. He purposely tries to get Cardiff in trouble. Cardiff's new favorite words are "NO! WAIT!" Not good when we are on a tight schedule. But Emmy has had an especially rough week or so. She has a bad habit of not following through with what we ask her to do. I find that I am repeating myself numerous times a day before she actually does what I ask. Cardiff requires repetition, but he is not quite 3 years old. Emmy is 10! It gets very frustrating! We have fairly simple rules...no clothes on the floor, clean up after yourself, listen to mom and dad, say "Sorry" when you do something wrong, etc. These are all very basic life lessons. However, Emmy sometimes refuses to follow these simple rules! She constantly has clothes on the floor because she changes her outfit 4-5 times a day. She complains that she has nothing to wear even though she has so many clothes, they don't fit in her dresser! Don't get me wrong, I do love her and she often has moments of pure love, helpfulness and good-doing, but we are in a rutt right now.
Even after a week of poor behaviour, she managaed to get Wayne to buy her a new bike! She promised to do better. But the piles of clothes still lay just inches from the dresser, the papers and junk still cover the floor (ohhhh, how I hate the junk!) and the repetition continues. So the other night, I decided to have a long talk with her about her poor choices (I'm sure she dreads these "talks"). Many tears were shed. She knows what she should do, she just doesn't do it. The next morning, I found her making these signs and putting them up around her room to remind herself of what needs to be done. I had to chuckle because she also included her own self-imposed punishments!
I admit that I am a pretty stern parent, but I believe you need to start while they are young. Emmy really is a great little girl, she just needs to focus and follow through. We have been blessed with 5 really well-behaved kids and I shouldn't complain. But am I doing something wrong? Or is is just a phase that they are going through? (I sure hope it is a phase!) I had someone ask how I get my kids to behave so well during church. "They all sit so quietly, are reverent and do well considering your husband does not get to sit with you." Well, we are far from perfect, but I am trying my best. I am always open to parenting suggestions!
11 comments:
Jasmine,
I strive hard to be as good a mother as you. The amount of responsibility you have along with 5 children...wonderful children at that, you do an incredible job! You know you have done a good job when your child creates her own punishment without being told too. I am sure it is all just a phase. Preteens and toddlers are the hardest thing to deal with. =) Hang in there, and don't ever doubt your parenting skills because you are truly a great example for me.
Thanks Kimmie! The positive reinforcements go a long way, so THANK YOU! You'd think after 10 years of parenting, we'd have most of the answers, but we are still trying to figure it out!
Jasmine-your kids are good. Want to trade Jacey for Azia? Jacey has been driving me nuts for awhile. If I ever tell her no or to do something she acts like her life is aweful. Her new favorite saying is "this is the worst day ever!" She cries alot too. Anyway, Mike and I blame it on the time of year. The weather is getting nicer, school is almost done, etc. Just be thankful you aren't in a class of 30 kids all day. I do love it but I'm glad tomorrow is the last day.
Sharon
Oh my gosh, her little notes made me get tears in my eyes. Those are so sweet. Maybe she just needs to be a list maker. Some people really need visual aides to help them remember to do things. (I'm one of those people - a visual learner.) It will be interesting to see if her little notes help her get the job done.
Corina is kind of the same way. She used to drive me crazy at bedtime because she would just stand around doing nothing. Finally I did what I would do at work for a student who needs help. I made a picture chart of her bedtime jobs, in order. (Go pee, wash hands, take off clothes, get washed...etc.) It has really helped her. I think she's a visual learner like me. Maybe something like that would help out at your house.
I definately think Emmy is a visual learner. She is ALWAYS writing lists, so we'll see how her little signs work! I also agree that this time of year is hard; can't wait for summer break! Thanks for all the suggestions!
I'm no parenting expert, I just hope to make it through the toddler years, but it sounds like you are doing a great job. Those notes are great and it looks like she may have listened this time (as I type this I hear my 2 year old escaping for the 3rd time tonight form his room).
Just hang in there Jasmine. Emmy will turn out alright.
Wayne
Oh Jasmine,
Your kids are the sweetest kids and of course as they get older they will push their ego boundaries. You are a good parent, and Emmy, bless her heart, has the initiative to write her own little notes. Your children are very smart. Of course they are going to see what they can get away with. As for Azia, seems that little girls grow up faster than we used to. AND, consider that you have pretty much outgrown your house and once you get into your new one, everyone will have their own space. As much as I don't want to see you leave the northside, I can certainly see that your new home will be beneficial. Love all you guys.
i am not a parenting expert... Have you seen the accountable kids thing? you can get it at the church book store? if you google it you may be able to find it...
just an idea, summer is here schedules and routines are not as they were. you are great...this too shall pass! I often feel the same way!
I really think it's just a phase and I think that you're a great mother.
That said, if you do find a way to get the phase to pass more quickly -- I'd like to know about it.
Afton
I can relate to so many things in this post! Either we're both doing something wrong or even good kids misbehave a lot. On my end, I'm sure its a little bit of both cause I'm still trying to figure this whole parenting thing out. Just the fact that you care about their behavior shows you're a good mom. Keep up the good work Jasmine! You're awesome.
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